T-minus 31 days

One month until my second child is due and I think everyone is completely unready for this.  Sebastian is, of course, completely clueless, but the child isn't even aware that his 2nd birthday is 34 days away or that there might be a cake in his future, much less a sister.  Right now, I am looking at my husband who is sitting in his comfy bathrobe playing demos on his PS3, drinking out of a water bottle he has sadly come to know as his "sippy cup."  It seems we've got the kid vernacular down, but I don't know if we even have a single newborn onesie, much less where it is and whether it is clean.

And about the kid vernacular, I don't think we've completely settled into the full "parent" role where we are aware of, you know, our language and what we're watching on TV.  A few weeks ago, Sebastian dropped the F Bomb in the car, immediately repeating my husband's outburst; last night, we got our first S Bomb.  Since Eggs are "aess" and trucks are "cucks" and chocolate is "cock," I don't know what's left to avoid (and no, I don't need reminders/suggestions).  We do try to distract him from the crime scene at the beginning of our DVR'd shows - "Hey buddy, can you hand me that thing over there?" - but I think real parents watch those shows after bedtime.

I think we both have this idealized vision of our parents and other parents who seem to have things a bit more focused.  My husband has family members who say that babies "shit" whereas I used to ask permission to use "the B word up your nose."  My mom's favorite show was Murder She Wrote, but I don't think that was anywhere near CSI or Criminal Minds for violence.  Plus, she really didn't watch as much TV anyway.

It just seems surreal that another human being is going to be here in a matter of weeks.  I know her personality - she likes to lodge her foot in my obliques and keeps me pretty under control with horrible heartburn at night - but it seems weird that we're doing this baby stuff all over again.  Things are going to smell like spit-up and I'll spend the first month waiting for her to actually DO something and get surprised at how much stuff I need to just go to the store, especially with two kids.

This should be interesting...