Toe Boogers

Facebook Status: Today was the day we took off Sebastian's socks and he coined the term "Toe Booger."  Keep it classy, kid.

Okay, two months ago, I tried to clean the lint between Sebastian's toes, which he did not appreciate.  Now, he goes looking for it to clean but only gets the job half-done which is kind of gross.  Since I'm the kind of person who CANNOT resist peeling paint the rest of the way, if I see it, I have to clear out the toes if I see them dirty.  Plus, there's something about my kid and hygiene.  I will testify before anyone that I did not give these pieces of lint any kind of name.

Separately, I have had a few occasions over the last few days where Sebastian approached me with his hand extended to and said "booger" so I would clean it.  Out of the context of parent/two-year-old, this is really off-the-map disgusting, so I'm embarrassed to admit I thought nothing of it.

Then it occurred to me that I don't use that word with him.  At least I don't think so.  Bear in mind that I used to call them "the B-word up your nose" when I was young, so it's not a term that doesn't come easily.  Now, I did realize the other week that I use the term "eye boogers" to refer to the gunk in a person's eye, which is really a bit redneck of me, nd I was surprised at how naturally "eye boogers" came out of my mouth, but I'm a bit more careful about using that term in front of Sebastian.

These were separate issues until today when we're taking socks off today and my child, who speaks in some kind of foreign dialect anyway, goes "Wait! The Toe Booger!"

I. About. Lost it.  Could not stand up straight for laughing.  It came out of nowhere and so urgently ("WAIT!") and he was so intent on bringing his toes as close to his face so he could bring the Toe Boogers to justice, that I teared up a little.

It was not a moment of self-control-in-the-face-of-funny, but Sebastian didn't care.  He was so busy with the task at hand that he didn't notice me laughing anyway.

Toe Boogers.  It has potential to assist in familial communication during this time and could, in theory, join the lexicon with "eye boogers," which has served descriptive purposes for me.  At the same time, I like to think we can pass as a classy family, and I cannot, in good faith, perpetuate that myth knowing that my children subscribe to a Toe Booger culture.

Netflix has documentaries?

My husband has just gone to bed, so I am sitting next to a crying baby (who has been changed, fed, and otherwise cared for but needs to get rid of energy for a few minutes) and adding movies to my Netflix Instant Queue.  Did you know that Netflix has documentaries?

This is quite a revelation for someone who used to watch documentaries pretty incessantly.  I LOVED A&E Biography and pretty much everything else on A&E in the mid-to-late 1990s.  They would feature historic, important, or notorious figures and provide a serious but in-depth look at each person.  Of course, Biography was also probably the world's #1 employer of people who called themselves "Royal Watchers," but the overall the series was well-crafted and intelligent.  Several years later, I caught Biography... of Paris Hilton and had to check several times to make sure this was Biography on A&E and not just E.

As disappointed as I was with A&E and what they were churning out, I am now so disappointed in myself.  Of all of the movies I could choose on Netflix, I've been scouring the "TV Dramas" section and have "finally" started watching Army Wives.  If my children are going to have a parent who regularly watches television, it appears I could be making better, more intelligent choices.

I have a book (that I have not yet read - probably because of 2 kids and too much Army Wives) called "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupifies Young Americans and Jeopardizes our Future (Or, Don't Trust Anyone Under 30)" by Mark Bauerlein, a college professor who is observant but apparently could not choose a single title for his book.  In any case, he makes the point that though the current generation has all kinds of information available to us digitally - art, music, classic literature, historical documentation, scientific research - we are choosing to spend our time connecting to current events and each other.  This keeps us in an anxious state where we are constantly accessing current and incredibly shallow information.  Rather than reading the WWII Speeches of Winston Churchill or George Orwell's complete works, we are on facebook, twitter, and opinion websites.

I don't know that we're completely stupid, but I know we're wasting a lot of time and talent.  I love to write, but I read more than I create and I watch more than I read.  Sometimes it's 4 PM before I know what the weather is like outside.  As much as I try to set limits for my toddler, he's had to close my computer for me on a few occasions, and I've never lost an important work document because of that because more often than not, I'm doing something that can be done later or not at all.

I figure if I am watching TV while folding laundry, it might as well be intelligent TV for an hour rather than the 7th of 23 episodes of a single season of a show I didn't know or care about until I found it on Netflix and put it on my to-do list.  Perhaps I can instill in my child an awareness of a real world out there with different cultures and facts to learn rather than a group of fictional characters living a very dramatic existence in surreality.

I probably will finish Army Wives someday, but I think it's going to be less of a priority now that I've rediscovered the documentaries I've been missing.