Toe Boogers

Facebook Status: Today was the day we took off Sebastian's socks and he coined the term "Toe Booger."  Keep it classy, kid.

Okay, two months ago, I tried to clean the lint between Sebastian's toes, which he did not appreciate.  Now, he goes looking for it to clean but only gets the job half-done which is kind of gross.  Since I'm the kind of person who CANNOT resist peeling paint the rest of the way, if I see it, I have to clear out the toes if I see them dirty.  Plus, there's something about my kid and hygiene.  I will testify before anyone that I did not give these pieces of lint any kind of name.

Separately, I have had a few occasions over the last few days where Sebastian approached me with his hand extended to and said "booger" so I would clean it.  Out of the context of parent/two-year-old, this is really off-the-map disgusting, so I'm embarrassed to admit I thought nothing of it.

Then it occurred to me that I don't use that word with him.  At least I don't think so.  Bear in mind that I used to call them "the B-word up your nose" when I was young, so it's not a term that doesn't come easily.  Now, I did realize the other week that I use the term "eye boogers" to refer to the gunk in a person's eye, which is really a bit redneck of me, nd I was surprised at how naturally "eye boogers" came out of my mouth, but I'm a bit more careful about using that term in front of Sebastian.

These were separate issues until today when we're taking socks off today and my child, who speaks in some kind of foreign dialect anyway, goes "Wait! The Toe Booger!"

I. About. Lost it.  Could not stand up straight for laughing.  It came out of nowhere and so urgently ("WAIT!") and he was so intent on bringing his toes as close to his face so he could bring the Toe Boogers to justice, that I teared up a little.

It was not a moment of self-control-in-the-face-of-funny, but Sebastian didn't care.  He was so busy with the task at hand that he didn't notice me laughing anyway.

Toe Boogers.  It has potential to assist in familial communication during this time and could, in theory, join the lexicon with "eye boogers," which has served descriptive purposes for me.  At the same time, I like to think we can pass as a classy family, and I cannot, in good faith, perpetuate that myth knowing that my children subscribe to a Toe Booger culture.