I'm curled up in a chair right now, holding a sleeping Audrey while Sebastian eats raisins and watches Toy Story. I called a woman in my neighborhood who can take both kids in full-time daycare starting Monday, the day I start my new job. I'm excited about work, and I know I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom, but I am going to miss these moments with the kids. In many ways, these last several months have been one perpetual weekend. I'm slow to get up, late to get in the shower, and then I'm hanging out, more or less. It's been better since I've had Audrey because I'm not lying down all day watching PBS Kids, but the days kind of blend.
Today, as I get closer to work and routine, I'm trying enjoy the moment. After I had Sebastian, I would sit and hold him for hours on end while he slept. I would fall asleep on the couch holding him and would wake up in the same position. By the time I went back to work, I had had my fill.
With Audrey, I've had to feed her and then put her down to tend to Sebastian. I've certainly spent time holding her, but I'm not quite over it. Honestly, the baby phase is not my favorite. I'm looking forward to the next few months when she smiles more and starts developing personality. Sebastian is in a fun phase now - active, talkative, affectionate - so I know that it really only gets better. But you only get a few weeks to just sit with a sleeping baby, to feel the warmth and peace of a completely oblivious creature who can ground you to one comfy chair for hours, after yanking you from the deepest sleep the night before.
No comments:
Post a Comment