Mayonnaise Elf

I tried to be sneaky while feeding the dog last night.  It was about 45 minutes after feeding time and Audrey was nowhere to be found, so I quietly opened the dog food bag and slooooowly scooped the dog food because scooping dog food is about the loudest thing you can do if you're not vacuuming.  A few pieces dropped back into the bag and I knew I was sunk before I heard it.

"Mayonnaise Elf!  Mayonnaise Elf!"

Dang that Mayonnaise Elf!  I swear, any time I do something Audrey wants to do, she declares Mayonnaise Elf, like she's calling Parlay or something.  I brush her hair - "Mayonnaise Elf!" - or pump soap on her hands - "Mayonnaise Elf!" - or help untangle her from a shirt she's tried to pull down over her belly - "NO MOM!  MAYONNAISE ELF!"  I think she invokes Mayonnaise Elf about 345 times a day, which may burst my eardrums, but it also reminds me to be patient, step back, and allow Audrey and the Mayonnaise Elf to do their thing.

After all, she's two now, so this independent streak is only going to get worse.  Eventually, she'll also learn to speak, so the Mayonnaise Elf will gradually leave us and Audrey will transition into yelling what she really means:

"NO MOM!  BY MYSELF!"