LIGHTS OFF

I think every Dad, at some point in their Fatherly career, becomes obsessed with lights being left on in the house.  Aaron picked it up two years ago when our neighborhood started giving rebates for lower electricity use, and since then, I have been flashing back to my own childhood as my father's voice comes out of his mouth - "WHO left this light on?"

It's not that I'm against conserving energy - truly, I'm on board.  I love to recycle, we've been reducing and reusing, and I'm slowly but steadily replacing our household cleaners with more environmentally safe versions.  Contrary to popular belief, I go through the house several times a day to turn off the lights.  When the kids were younger, I used to "let" them turn off the light as a reward and if I forgot, they reminded me.  So, as Aaron asks, why are the lights on?

Because other people live in this house.

I grew up as one of six kids.  If you turned off every light when you left a room, someone else was bound to come back in and turn it on again.  My dad, who always figured he would grow up surrounded by books instead of kids, would come home and walk through the whole house:
"WHO left this light on?"  
"WHY is the bathroom light still on?"
"WHEN was the last time ANYONE was DOWNSTAIRS?"

Aaron doesn't believe that happened, because A, my dad seems so well-adjusted and B, whenever we're home, my siblings and significant others and kids are there too so my parents house has lights on all the time.  Much of Aaron's visit is spent silently going through my dad's night-time ritual and he does it several times a day.  Sometimes, I wait for him to do his rounds so that as he comes out from turning off a light, I'm walking in the same room, turning the light back on to change a diaper.  It drives him crazy, but antipsychotic medication has come so far from when my dad had this condition in the 80s and 90s.

In spite of all evidence to the contrary, Aaron doesn't want to drive himself crazy.  Recognizing that I'm not his ally in turning off lights (not true - I tune him out so I don't feel like I actually married my father), he has enlisted the help of Sebastian.  Instead of the WHO and the WHY and the WHEN questions, Aaron's just been gently notifying our little Superhero of lights that have been left on.
"Hey Bud!  Do you mind turning off Audrey's light for me?"
"Hey Bud!  Did you remember to turn off your bedroom light?"
"Hey Bud!  How about we check the WHOLE house for lights that we can turn off?"

It's great because Sebastian runs around and turns off the lights and comes out and dances/high fives us because he did such an awesome service.  I found out today that this strategy might have an unforeseen downside for Aaron.

Aaron had just gone back to work after lunch at the house, so the kids and I were settling into our afternoon routine of haggling over when naptime would come ("Not right now Mom!").  I walked into the hallway and noticed - wow! - the kids' bedrooms, my bedroom, the hallway, the kitchen, and the living room lights were on.

"Wow Bud!  We have a lot of lights on in the house!"
"YES WE DO MOM," he called from the living room.  "You turned on Audrey's light when you changed her diaper and Daddy left your bedroom light on when he changed his shirt and you left the kitchen light on after you already made lunch and YESTERDAY!" (he caught his breath) "Yesterday you left your bedroom light on when you went potty and Daddy left the light on in his workshop TWO TIMES and we should not be leaving the lights on when I turn them off..."

I stared at this kid, manically releasing his chronicle of adults leaving lights on in the house.  He continued to prattle about each time we washed our hands, each moment someone put a dish in the dishwasher, that time we fed the dog outside.  My reaction went from shock to "Haha, Aaron left his workshop light on" to "This is what Aaron gets for enlisting the four-year-old to help with lights" to "OH MY GOSH MY SON IS MY FATHER'S CLONE."

So I guess every man gets obsessed with lights being left on in the house and, if you introduce them to it, it'll happen before they even start Pre-K.